Words to describe motherhood (feel free to add your own): wonderful, joyful, exciting, exhilarating, rewarding, worthwhile, and… terrifying! Yes, that’s right. Despite all the positive words that can be attributed to having that bouncing bundle of joy in your life, you will also have that endless loop of worry and fear that comes with having a baby. The good news is these fears will eventually cease – often, they are part of the baby blues that most moms go through after giving birth. Still, you are a mother after all, so while some of your fears can be allayed, there will always be something to worry about – it’s all part and parcel of your job.
In this article, we will list some of the fears that are common to many new moms. We have only picked a handful – if you have experienced motherhood, you can probably add hundreds more to our limited list.
Fear #1: My baby might stop breathing
This is a valid fear, though the chances of this happening are rare. Attributed to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, it’s little wonder many moms are afraid to leave their baby’s bedside in fear of this happening. Still, there are ways to reduce the risk of this happening to your child, and your doctor or midwife should also give you some advice that will help you (and your baby) sleep better at night.
Fear #2: I will never fit into my dress again
After pregnancy, your body will change, and you will have to adjust yourself to a new shape and frame. From your bum to your tum, you are going to experience a weight gain, but that won’t stay there forever. You can do yourself a favor and take part in keep fit activities to bring about weight loss sooner, and despite your craving for comfort food when you have been up half the night with your baby’s crying, you could reach for the healthy option instead of a sugary treat. Eventually, your body will return to its usual state, so don’t throw away half your wardrobe just yet.
Fear #3: My baby has acne!
Don’t worry; your baby hasn’t entered their teenage years several years too early. It is quite common for your child to have skin issues, acne being only one of them. There is an effective article on how to treat and prevent baby acne here, and you can also see your doctor or pharmacist for further advice on other skin issues. Quite often, there is nothing to worry about, but a professional will put your mind at rest if you are worrying unduly.
Fear #4: I will never bond with my baby
This is particularly common for women who have had a c-section or who have had difficulty breastfeeding. When other moms seem to bond with their baby almost immediately, it can be a worry if you don’t. It’s especially difficult when you feel tired, and considering your fluctuating hormones shortly after giving birth, you may only have negative thoughts towards this new arrival in your life. Fear not, there are ways you can speed up the bonding process, and even if it doesn’t happen overnight, you will eventually form that special bond that can only be found between a mother and her child.
Fear #5: I will never have time to myself again
Let’s face it, as a mother, you are going to be busier than you have ever been before. With an endless schedule of diaper changing, feeding, and washing etc. etc., you will feel as if you are losing sight of yourself. Most of the time you won’t mind. It is part and parcel of motherhood, after all. Still, you don’t need to lose sight of yourself forever. You deserve a break from time to time, so get your partner involved and get a sitter on speed dial. You love your baby, of course you do, but taking the time to look after your own needs is not entirely selfish.
Fear 6: I won’t be a good mother
Don’t worry; you aren’t alone. No matter how easy other moms make parenthood look, there is one common truth: we all feel like we aren’t good enough. And that’s okay, as nobody is perfect. There will be times when you lose your temper, become forgetful, say or do the wrong thing, and feel like giving up. It’s normal, and it is part of the learning curve that comes with parenthood. The fact that you worry about not being a good mother is a good sign in itself. At least you care! You will make mistakes, but don’t we all! Learn from them and do the best you possibly can without beating yourself up all the time.
Motherhood is tough and it can be fraught with worry, but this is perfectly natural. As a mother, you will never stop worrying for your child, long after they have grown up and flown the nest. It’s all part of the job. Still, there are rewards, and despite your fears, try and focus on the positives that having a child can bring. Welcome to parenthood!