Grief is most commonly understood as an emotional response to death, but grief also manifests itself in other areas of life. Individuals experience grief during divorce or break-ups, estrangement from loved ones, immigration to a foreign land, and career transitions. All of these events challenge a person’s identity, disrupt routines, and create feelings of loss that may be similar to those experienced in grieving for the deceased.

Recognizing how grief is experienced in different contexts will assist individuals in recognizing their own responses to loss and obtaining support when needed.

Divorce or Break-up Grief

Ending a romantic or other relationship can be emotionally confusing. Your identity might have been tied to this relationship, and you may feel like you don’t know who you are without this partner. Plans and daily routines no longer exist. Daily activities change. Other relationships are influenced or end because of your separation. Often, you lose much more than one person. For some individuals, grief is not only the person being lost, but also the life that existed with this person. Emotional attachment takes longer to fade than physical detachment; therefore, the aftermath of a breakup can be confusing and lengthy.

Even in those situations where separation is necessary, grief is still felt. An individual may experience cycles of sadness, anger, and confusion. Grief can influence an individual’s ability to sleep, eat, and find motivation. When you can finally identify these emotional responses as grief, and not as emotional weakness or failure, you can start healing and moving forward.

Hidden Losses of Immigration

Immigration to another country is a large-scale transition that creates a sense of loss for many immigrants. As immigrants leave their native lands, they leave behind familiar places, languages, and social norms. Although immigrants choose to immigrate, the experience of cultural displacement can create a sense of alienation and loss of identity.

This type of grief is not always recognized publicly because immigration is typically viewed as an opportunity for growth and development. However, in private, immigrants may have difficulty adjusting to their new environment due to homesickness, loneliness, or a yearning for their homeland. Language barriers can also cause isolation and create further feelings of loneliness or depression. These emotions are valid and can occur in conjunction with the positive aspects of the immigrant experience. Gradually, establishing new relationships, routines, etc., can decrease the severity of the losses experienced by the immigrant; however, these losses are a part of the transition experience.

Disconnection or Estrangement and Grief

Estrangement from family members or close friends produces a unique form of grief. The absence of a relationship exists, and yet there is a lack of closure in the situation. Therefore, it is more difficult to process.

Some individuals experience guilt or doubt after choosing to separate from family or friends for personal safety or emotional well-being. Other individuals may feel powerless if the decision to separate was made by someone else. Regardless of the reason for the separation, the emotional effects are real. Due to societal expectations surrounding family, estrangement is often not discussed socially, creating additional isolation.

Loss of Career and Grief

A person’s profession provides much of their identity. Changing careers due to burnout, layoff, or voluntarily, may produce grief. Changes in daily routine and changes in how others view the individual occur. Status, income, or purpose may also change.

Career advancement can also cause grief. Advancements like promotions, relocation, or a new role may cause the loss of previous colleagues and routines. Understanding that career changes can evoke emotional responses allows individuals to be more aware of their responses and adapt more easily, knowing they are working through a transition phase.

Grief in Disguise

Grief can cause people to do whatever numbs the pain, and sometimes that becomes a destructive habit. If you have turned to substances for daily functioning, it might be time to understand and deal with your emotional turmoil rather than numb it. Rehab can be a place to explore confidential support and next steps. You don’t need to wait for things to fall apart before reaching out for help and finally dealing with your grief and closing a chapter.

Grief and Change

Not all losses are obvious. Many people carry grief for the lives they once knew, connections they grew out of, or futures that did not materialize. Identifying the presence of grief in these circumstances is the initial step towards resolving it.

Identifying the presence of grief allows people to begin to respond to the loss, rather than react. Transition in life is not a problem to solve, but rather a series of experiences that must be navigated. Acknowledgment of grief is not a backward step; it is a normal aspect of adapting to change.