Welp, the first day of school was two days ago and both kids were sent off to class with big smiles, eager to learn.
Charlotte (8) was incredibly nervous before she even went to bed the night before school. She was bawling. I mean ABSOLUTELY bawling to the point of having a hard time catching her breath, needing me to stay in her room, gripping onto my hand before bed. She is never like this. NEVER!
We made it through the night only to have her walk into my bathroom bawling…again! I had her take a shower before school to see if that calmed her down, but it didn’t. She was so nervous that she couldn’t eat her breakfast.
We got to school, dropped Kendall off first, then I started walking Charlotte to class. And she started THROWING UP. Literally throwing up on her walk to the classroom. And then here I am with my water bottle trying to wash throw up off of the walkway where everyone is walking. I was so embarrassed. Mortified!
And in these moments of my child – my first born – being completely nervous to the point of throwing up, I felt like I failed as a parent. I didn’t have the right words to say because I, too, suffer from anxiety. I suffer big time.
How am I supposed to tell my anxious child she will be okay when I myself probably wouldn’t feel okay?
I really tried talking it up saying the first day would be so easy. We were organized. We had all the clothes picked out. She would have so many of her friends in her class. Nothing seemed to help. School anxiety has always been a thing, but it was never a thing in our house. HELP!
Kendall (4) had a few tears, but had no problem going to her first day of TK. I should’ve had Kendall give Charlotte a pep-talk!
We are now 3 days into the school year and she started whimpering in the morning and requested that my mom come to school for drop-off today. We had a tear-free drop-off, and she immediately found her friends on the playground. I’m calling that a win and hoping she has a great day!
Is it me?
Is it possible that my anxiety is somehow rubbing off on her? Even though I try my best to put on a smile and act like I’m totally fine? Does my child see right through me? Is anxiety contagious?
I’m so sad she (and you) had to go through that. Do not be so hard on yourself, you are doing amazing! You are wonderwomen AND supermom!
So happy today was better for her, big hugs!